First of all, many congratulations on all these baptisms and receptions into the Church! This is truly such a great and profound joy! To see how God acts in people’s souls and lives and transforms them; to see the Church growing – this truly fills the heart more than anything else! Many thanks for the work that you, together with our priests and other helpers, are doing and have done for them and for all people here in small Estonia. Your predecessor is surely more than proud and pleased with how the flock entrusted to him has been cared for and nurtured.
I am writing only in order simply to share this holy joy that bubbles up in the soul and overflows a little. The words simply do not fit in my heart, and there is a need to direct them to someone besides Jesus.
Easter seems to me truly like a foretaste of our resurrection, and the more the years go by, the greater are both the pain of Good Friday and the joy of Easter. And I think: if we have felt Christ’s closeness so deeply on these days, then to what extent must the saints have had to experience it—and do experience it now in heaven!? Both in suffering and in joy. The light of Christ is so sweet— like the honey and milk of which Sacred Scripture speaks—that I truly cannot wait for the time when we shall be able to see His face; that time when Christ truly is everything in all for us—to remain forever in that Light. Of course, this stirs one to conversion—a desire truly to live dead to sin and alive to Christ. But even more, it awakens in the soul the desire to pass on that light even more. And deep gratitude. Gratitude for my Baptism and for my Christian vocation. That I am Catholic, that I have such a human and also supernatural family. But also for that deep Christian vocation that I have received, which I feel so clearly and in which I try to grow, even if I am often like Peter, who, walking toward Jesus, sees more his own inability than God’s grace and needs Jesus’ helping hand. For a long time I saw this as a deficiency, but in this Lent God has allowed me to understand His pedagogy better, and at last I have also learned from my own experience that being weak is not bad, because Jesus is all the more at my side, and precisely in those moments of human failure we are closest. At times I have been ashamed because of my weakness and inconstancy, but I am learning to know God’s love better, and sometimes it feels as if He does not even let me become stronger so that He can love me more; so that He can be more a Father to me. And carried by this gratitude, understanding again that Christ is my dearest treasure, I have renewed within myself the desire to be for Him all that He needs. That Veronica who wipes His face; that woman who dried His feet; that apostle; that leper; that friend, that sister, that beloved—whoever He needs, as He needs. For I am always seeking how to be useful to Him and His Church. In fact, I want to be for Him the one whom He truly needs. I ask that the Lord grant me the grace to recognize Him in the people beside me, in my duties and tasks, in the events of life, so that I may be all this for Him.
In these days I often think back to the Holy Land; it is not an experience one can share with many. Beside the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Mount Calvary, and the Garden of Gethsemane, what has remained most vividly in my memory is the road from Jerusalem toward Emmaus. Perhaps because it was in Emmaus that God gave me special enlightenment to take the call given to us especially seriously. But also because it so clearly depicts the reality of our everyday life – the Risen Lord walks beside us, accompanies and teaches us, without our recognizing Him. And how our heart burns within us when He is with us and explains things to us, and how sorrow turns into joy as soon as we recognize Him… I am so grateful that I can walk my life like the road to Emmaus, together with Christ and my brothers and sisters.
The Baptism liturgy is always very moving. This year I was also deeply moved when I saw with what fervor the godparents accepted the task entrusted to them—especially the young, first-time godparents. They understood very well that they are part of something very great. They sensed the responsibility. How important it is that such responsibility was given to them! To them and to the whole Church…. How do those who do not know Christ live? Life without Life? Life without true Light? How grateful I am for this vocation and election, for the opportunity to share the life of Christ through His sacraments, and how much I love the Holy Church. Of course, the more you love, the more you suffer and your heart aches because of everything Christ and His Church suffer: persecutions, lack of unity, people suffering under war and lonely people… But these new Catholics—their Baptism and reception—give so much hope, because the Light grows the more candles are lit, carrying the light onward. And every year we have more of these living candles! Therefore I pray in a special way for the Pope, the whole Church, and our Catholic Church in Estonia. I do my best not to forget that I too am one candle among many…! God is very good and truly loves us so much…
I don’t know whether it is the Holy Spirit or all those chocolate eggs I have eaten, but the words simply don’t want to end… But I will finish! Once again, on behalf of myself and my family, I wish you a blessed Easter!